Examine the Large Picture of What and Whom You Read! You May Be Surprised.
In July 2009 I needed to leave. I decided between London, UK or Sydney, Aus. I couldn’t decide. I chose the latter, but have greatly reconsidered how EVERYTHING since then would have panned out if I had chosen the former. needless to say UK is a HUGE interest. I grew up reading british authors. I was RAISED by brits because what you read is esentially "mind code" and the mind-coders (authors sort of, but not exactly at all) were all british that I connected with.
I found myself gravitating toward certain types of books, only when I read Derren Brown’s book (which was more about the author than "the book") did I realize that that "certain type of book" was essentiall all and exclusively british authors. I’d been learning — (almost every significant book and or author of my life) was a british author –exclusively from brits most my life!
What discoveries have you made from the patterns of books you’ve read? Have you gravitated toward a certain era (I’ve randomly discovered I was drawn to late 1800s setting books for awhile, without seeing that big picture interest — Holmes, Hyde, and Helsing all fall into that era, by the way!) or a certain type of author? Examine the large picture of what and whom you read! You may be surprised. I was.
I Had Brainwashing, Filthy Rich, Destructive Parents (and Obviously Think Nlp Will Help Absolve Some of My Challenges with This!)
Thus, I was doing this cathartic, self-journaling, autobio post to myself and realized it might useful to plug in some nlp techinques here (NOTE: if this is inappropriate for this forum I understand) just realized some NLP techniques could help achieve some goals possibly. nice.
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I grew up spoiled. My parents were/are filthy (emphasis on the filthy) rich. Some might dream of how nice that would be, but trust for me, for the reasons I will propound, it is the opposite of a walk in the park. Having rich parents can be the most dismal, life-locked, frightening, ensnared, lost, confused, hellish random aspect of your life. Here’s why it was all that and more to me.
I don’t know where to so start, but this comes to mind as a signficant "starting point" so I’ll start at 16. When I was 16 I:
1. lost my virginity (realizing sex wasn’t as big of a deal AT ALL as movies made it out to be).
2. finally taught martial arts after 6 years as a student ( a significant reality-changing experience)
3. broke 5-minutes in the mile (a huge achievement at the time)
4. took a seminar that encouraged out-of-the-box thinking (kind of the spark)
that made me realize that my biological parents offered little or ZERO value or learnings to me. I for the first time in my life didn’t like at my parents as Ms. and Mr. God, but as people that I had learned everything they have to teach.
I can only imagine how many great things I would’ve done if I had continued with all tha AWESOME 1-2-3-4 momentum. Olympics (well prob not that far, but good stuff), MAssive career success (likely) Constant health alignment great relationships (definitely). Few of those happens and I blame almost entirely (and I have blamed my self inducing Heinous amounts of guilt and shame and fear) my parents.
My parents were heinous when I first criticized their parenting. I said they were trying to raise a "perfect familY". The so harshly and verbally criticized nad mocked me because of that to do this day saying what I called I called them "perfect family" I cringe. They said I had been brainwashed by the seminar, but in reality, it was they who had brainwashed me for 16 years. I have many years of hindsight and can see this. As my godfather said, you can’t brainwash someone in a few days, but you can in over a dozen years. My parents had over a dozen years. They tried to sue the leader of the seminar (who, in reality, had little to do with my realization that my parents were people whom I had outrgrown) and I "moved out"….
But as a kid who has parents that are filthy rich. "moved out" was the house next door that my parents bought (which was kind of given to them by the neighbors, but yeah). So for the remainder of highschool 16-18 and whenever I came home from college 18-22ish, I lived in this pseudo house-next-door to my parents house. It was a moratirum because I didn’t earn a dime, but some elements felt like "I was living on my own’ FAR FROM it.
And this is where we come full circle and I reveal why rich (especially brainwashing cult-leader parents) parents are the worst situation for a kid. I never learned how to earn.
I was a spoiled rotten kid. Spoiled, spoiled, spoiled. I still don’t earn much at all. I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO EARN. THAT IS WHY having rich parents is devastatingly brutal!!!
So…. That’s my opening of my parental angst, fear, stuff I need to graduate from, dilemma, etc.
And thus it was at 16 that my family became dysfunctional
At 16 my parents berated, criticized, emotionally abused me and from then on they vacillated from this manic hell of people whom I convinced myself I loved and people whom I loathed and hated and couldn’t bloody stand and were like bullies.
Indeed, a lot of my success in life were because of my father’s emotional bullying. Additionally, I realized I was so lost in college (yet another thing that got force-fed to me by my parents, even though I love learning, I disliked college), because my father ENJOYs/ed discombobulating, confusing, making people get what they Don’t want.
He has probably said to me close to a hundred times. We don’t care what you want! Tha’s classic brainwashing behavior. Telling a person that you aren’t doing what you’re doing. And then when my brother (who escaped the zero-earning hellish confusion that I was enslaved in for years) says he is going to be a doctor my dad always goes a Doctor??? And shakes his head (in the "no" ,negation headshake) and he always says he doesn’t care what we do…pffft he obviously disapproved of that.
And that’s what I grew up iwth. Deciet, lies. My mother says she has NEVER lied about anything . Do you know that stastically the probability of that is much less than 1%?
I have told white lies and I consider myself very honest. But I know I have not, not lied.
Anyway…this is important aside from griping from the past because I am having difficulty earning. And I never learned.
Additionally, I realized I loathe one of my uncles. This is strange because for awhile I wanted to live with him and my aunt thinking they’d make these great parents but my uncle is a ******. My other uncle who has three daughters (my cousins) that swim is pretty good though.
Anyway…..
This is important NOW in life because
1)I need to earn and my parents in the past have been direct (my father ridiculing business ideas I’ve had, or insulting them or trying to to convince me they wouldn’t work, through college — if you’ve seen Lord of the Rings, I am not The kind of the horse people or rohan, but if I were, my father would be wormtongue, poisoning confidence and spirit and clarity). But he’s been so effective that to I still sometimes think I love him and I sitll do about some things, true. but I also know that he was one of the most destructive people in my life. true. bollocks.
2) I have a LOT of anger at my parents. A lot of it is spent. screamed. fumed. at them. at journals. at exercise. but I want "healhty closure". My own dad had unhealthy closure with his parents. He talked about them to a shrink in his 20s and he has so much mommy-daddy issue stuff (which I’ve called him on before) that he can’t even mention his parents (whom are now dead), but my extended family is very lopsided because in his endeavor to "severe his past" my dad only introduced us to his parents. I never knew anyone else other than my dad’s parents form his side of biofam. (no uncles, cousins, nothing from my dads side). so my dad has unhealthy closure. He can’t talk about his parnets because of bottled ****. I dknow I don’t have that, but I want closure and a closure so I can be like "yeah oath this, this is the way it was, it sucked because of xyz, it was great because of xyz1" now i’ve evolved to abc". In short, no longer impacted by past — not numb to it but "graduated" from the brainwashing cult hell of my parents (I’ve defined my father has demonic and bullying nad my mother as icy before).
3) I’ve noticed in the small wedged, pathetically small space of self-identity surrounded by ferocious hounds of hellish brainwahsing of my parents as I was growing up (nice image eh?!) that….there was a schism at 16. I realized I didn’t need my parents (only it was only a half a dozen years later that I was able ot piece together that that’s what happened. I just was total honesty then and told them EVERYTHING, the WORST thing to do to toxic people by teh way) for learning . And since that day that’s been true, but I needed them for money and bloody hell I wish they didn’t help me out with money back then because it just got harder and more confusing to earn later in life. anyways. this 3rd problem with folks is too complex 1)need to earn, they incapacitated earning endeavors and thwarted and never taught. 2)residual anger want to healthily relinquis hadn create healthy closure and 3) I didn’t get along with my parents to SUCH A HUGE degree and they were so "engulfing, no, CULT-LIKE, yes!" about immediate family that I had no space, so I started using "biological parents" about 4 years ago at earliest and regularly about 2 years ago because so many parts of me, on a cellular level, emotionally, my very being was NOT congruent with those ******* imbeciles being my parents!! I was like they can’t be! Thus, they’re biological parents, and indeed 3 years go
4) in almost a decade after 16, I’ve sought tons of mother and father figures. TONs. Mainly fahter figures, but some mothe rfigures too. I didn’t realize this was because my family became dysfunctional when I was 16. I was so desperate for not so much affection, but "learnign" a dad to take me out and teach me how to make a fire in the woods and outdoorsy stuff. The most my father ever inquired is "do you want to go out to dinner’ I was just anothe client. He took all his clients out to dinner. He liked gay *** ******* retarded restaurants and I deluded myself that going out sitting down and ordering pasta and eating it while waiting for refills on water and the check was actually something FUN. That’s all my father ever invited me to do "with him" as "father-son" time. pathetic (actually just recently i’ve done a few shrink sessions iwth my two parnets, moi, and a shrink, which I suggested almsot a decade ago) and we played a board game, but other than, that pathetic. The way I see, i Never had a dad. My mom was more like a dad (she played more sports and stuff). I never learned from my dad and boy did I ask him. How do I earn? How cna I get a job? I always wanted to see him work. To see my dad at work in action!!
5) I hate and am self-critical of how I think my dad is a pathetic failure sack of ****. I DISLIKE that I evaluate him that way and I’ve tried to look at him and genuinely hae looked at him as successful and incredibly smart and he may very well be to some people, but he let me done with the Important things. The stuff that a dad should do with their son, he never did that. (He did do a stock contest once and I’ll give him credit it for that, that was slightly didactic, but it was something you’d do with a business, certainly not father-son time). I remember building traps as a kid with my youngest brother. It was incredibly fun, (utilizing a lot of mechanical physics). I loved that stuff. THAT’s the type of stuff a dad should’ve been doing with his son. Anyways, I only look at my dad as a failure as a parent. I dislike that and he has a great bunch of positive qualities (very intelligent, manipulative, good at getting peopel to do what he wants (I, funny enough am good at knowing what others want, that’s a demise because that other-person-knowledge often eclipses my own itnerest), making money, My dad is a GENIUS at making money, but he doesnt’ teach me how he does that AT ALL and always says something adrift and ridiculing and evasive like "just get a job" , which I have tried. . so conclusively 5 is I evaluate my father as a father as almost a 99% failure. I am highly critical of him and I think I am so, because he was so highly critical of me, but mostimportantly I DISLIKE that I consider my fathe ra failure. I Would have loved to have a dad that I loved who was a hero (and you can imagine with all this father figure seeking — I have recently in the past year told a person if I thought of them as a fathe rfigure) and taught me valuable lessons. Many successful people seem to have a father figure who "taught them lessons’. I don’t have that, and I dislike that.
6)That’s a pretty good start. To conclude with this opening. I have these grievances and I read Forgive for Good and I want to absolve those grievances. I don’t want to sit down and pow-wow and talk it out with folks becasue I’ve done that For a LONG time and advocated that and they’re just a putrid waste of my time. They’ve intoxicated my life, my future, and plans on such massivley vile and abusive level, I’ve considered suing them (but I’d lose because they could afford better laywers). IF you can believe it, as a whallopping bit of insanity icing on this ludicrous hell situation is I’m currently in a situation where I’m "sort of" living with htem. after living either in apartments they paid for or in dorms for most of the time since 16…
okay.
conclusisve synopsis of grievances:
1) they never taught me to earn and sabogatged my earning, I spoiled myself rotten with them being rich and am not as knowledgeable as want to be with earning.
2) residual anger at bioparents want to absolve.
3) this biological parents "couldn’t possibly be my parents’ ( I have investigated blood type to see if I was adopted) thing is very open and hellish and I am old enough to be a bloody parent and tha’ts crazy. This has also caused me to "flee" portions of my life and travel sporadically to "find my true family" Although I never really called it that. Sounds like a nice thing to do but it’s hell. I don’t want to "find my true family" (you end up projecting things onto peopel that don’t exist, it’s bad times) nor mend my biological one at all. I just want to work on me, preventing me from doing toxic things, and absolving grievances of past.
4) Saught mother and fathe rfigures but never acknowledged nor shared this until recently.
5) I wish I could look at him in another light, but I evaluate my biological father as a disgusting brainwashing , cult-leader failure piece of ****. I WISH I had a dad I looked up to and liked and I learned valuable things from. I could re-evaluate my dad (as I have many times) and only focus on the things he taught (and he did teach some things) tha twere interesting. But I don’t see my dad as a hero at all. I see him as a pathetic, frightened lost person who controls people and eanrs a lot of money and emotionally is an infant and lost. I dislike that but would like to absolve that and not be at peace with me dad but moreso be at piece with how I evaluate him (which is crtiically and in a negative light). I htink this one is so big because being critical of a parent was like "blasphemous’ in my immediate family and unheard of.
6)relinquish other grievances.
okay then.
Bateson’s Nephew in Prison
Medical Practitioners for Diabetes
I am on this forum asking is anybody knows any good medical practitioners that work with patients like they are patients, rather than just textbook stereotypes. I know the most effective therapists and doctors treat each patients separately based on their own individual needs (e.g. M.Erickson).
This is general, I know.. but I am hoping someone could point me in the right direction.
S
Hello NLP Connections!
I have just enrolled to start studying for my NLP Diploma with SCOLA in Sutton Surrey, Its a 10 week course, one day a week, 3 hrs per session. Cost me £200 which I thought was quiet reasonable, for a starting point. I did a lot of research over the time and found the diplomas went from one to two day course up to a week or so. Prices ranged from FREE – £600ish.
If anyone else has studied with SCOLA any feedback would be great.
I am currently looking to build on myself and use my skills I gain to open further doors and opportunities with my career.
If anyone could assist in how they link there NLP qualifications or hobby to their C.V or how they use it in interviews some ideas would be great help.
As I am currently looking at career progression and I am starting to look around to see whats available out in the job markets.
Thanks in advance for any replies and assistance. I look forward to sharing more in depth discussions with you all in the future.
-Tom
An Evening with Frank Pucelik
Frank was there with Richard before NLP and then with John and Richard at NLP?s earliest and most important developmental stages. Next to Grinder and Bandler, Frank has more knowledge about the NLP early days and a willingness to share with the NLP community the story of how it all began. Frank has been living and working in Ukraine since 1986 and has not led any public event in Europe or the USA since the mid eighties. This is a rare opportunity to hear and see the man who was there at the start of a new field.
Topics
- How Frank teamed up with Richard Bandler
- The work Frank was doing with Bandler pre NLP days
- The arrival and influence of John Grinder
- The early work between Pucelik, Grinder and Bandler
- How three became two
- The arrival of the term NLP
- The rapid development and growth of a field
- The exit of the third man
Until now Frank has kept a low profile in Europe and USA focussing his attention on building his business in the Ukraine. Now he wants to share his knowledge and experience to tell the real story of how NLP emerged from one room in University of California Santa Cruz. This is rare opportunity; take full advantage of connecting with one of the original man NLP.
Dates: 22 September
Location: Central London
Registration 18:00
Finish Time 21:00
Book today for just £10.00
NLP Case Studies | Request for further examples
Are you an NLP professional? A gifted NLP amateur? Have you any case studies you would like to share? Would like to be interviewd for a podcast case study for this forum?
If you would be happy to answer these questions:
Current Situation
What was the original problem, challenge or opportunity your client faced? What impact was it having? What would be the implication over time if the client didn’t move forward?
Your outcome?
Knowing the above what were your outcome (s) for the intervention?
Action
What did you actually do? In what sequence? What responses from your client were you aware of?
Result
What was the end result? How did you test that the intervention was successful?
What else
What were the current and longer term implications for the client? What will it enable them to achieve that they wouldn’t have been able to achieve?
Learnings
What was important to you about the intervention? What did you learn from it?
It you would like to take part complete our contact form http://nlp-seminars.co.uk/seminar/contact/ putting the words ‘case study’ in the ‘additional information’ box. or email me at michaelbeale@ppimk.com (you will have to respond to the spam arrest email)
Your full contact details will be included in any podcast we publish, and you will have our greatest thanks!
A Trance to Heal – Healing Seminar in South London
Starting on Monday September the 6th – we kick off with a talk entitled A Trance to Heal – by Tina Taylor.
The following months will see special guest speakers on many topics and even some cool mystery guests…. who have yet to be announced.
Topics will be as follows on the dates below. Watch out for more SPECIAL GUEST SPEAKERS to be announced soon at www.virtuallyspiritualsoulutions.com/workshops
… also for how to attend
A TRANCE TO HEAL
Guest Speaker – Tina Taylor
Monday 6th September – 8-10pm
In todays hectic society we all too often forget to slow down and breath into who we really are. For years medical science believed that we were who we were because our genes ? our cell make up. Research has now shown that we can change/influence our cells by what we believe, our beliefs can alter our genetic blueprint. Tonight we will be learning the ways in which we can relax and heal the body using powerful programming techniques. Well known for her work in the field of fertility, Tina Taylor will share her methods using a process that she has successfully used for conditions such as cancer and IBS. This sesson will end with a lovely soothing trance to give your mind and body a chance to rest, regroup and rejuvenate. Watch this youtube video to get a feel for the vibes to come during this talk. Enjoy!!!!
YouTube – Rumer – Slow (Out now on iTunes)
BODY TALK
Guest Speaker – Laura Spicer
Monday 4th October – 8-10pm
In keeping with the idea that you can influence your body, Laura Spicer shares her methods of using language, trance and negotiation with the systems responsible for maintaining balance and harmony within. Whether it is the reproductive, adrenal, cardiovascular or digestive systems you will learn ways to use NLP technologies, Linguistic patterns and altered states to create a healthy balanced mind and body.
YouTube – Imagination -Video- Body Talk
Guest Speaker – Adam Shaw
Monday 1st November – 8-10pm
Tonight we will learn how we can transform our energy into something that is lasting via the medium of walking mindfully. Adam will share his philiosophy and vision and give you a practical example of how you can use it your own life. Listen to Adam explain his story in the video below.
Guest Speaker – Carole Dessaigne
Monday 6th December – 8-10pm
The Christmas spirit is upon us and it is time to take stock and especially in terms of what you are keeping in your store cupboard. Carole Dessaigne will help us understand how we can eat, drink and stay healthy at this time of year when temptation is highly pronounced. Healing foods can be just as enjoyable and have the added effect of keeping us merry all year round. A sensible down to earth and practical workshop on how to be healthy at Xmas and beyond. Here’s to a very happy and healty New Year in 2011. The video below sums up the spirit of Christmas behind the thinking of this talk.
YouTube – One Of Us – Joan Osborne – 1996
Edgar Cayce Study Group and Practice Sessions
Tutor: Gina Pickersgill –
Official A.R.E Group Study Tutor in Second Life
£10.00 pay on the door. – 8-10pm
Dates and Study Focus
Monday 13th September – Trance States
Monday 18th October – Channelling Methods
Monday 8th November – Purpose and Alignment
Monday 13th December – Christmas Special
Trance States
Edgar Cayce was a master at self-hypnosis and was the method he used to to obtain information from his unconscious mind to help diagnose his client’s condition and prescribe treatments, many of which are used today by the medical profession. Tonight you will learn the methods of how to attain states of self- hypnosis. Gina will give you an experience of the Betty Erickson Technique – a powerful process designed to help you focus inward using a gradual change in awareness from external stimuli to an internal one. Each person will get a chance to practice with a partner and ask questions about the trance work of Edgar Cayce and NLP’s Richard Bandler.
International Trainers Training Recognised by ABNLP, INLPTA, ANLP in India by Robert Smith, Master Trainer NLP at Goa in Nov- Dec 2010
For all those passionate NLP connections forum members who are interested in moving upto the next level as the NLP trainer, they could consider the international NLP trainer training in India by Robert Smith, International Ambassador for ANLP,senior NLP Master Trainer. He alongwith Liz Bailey would be conducting this ABNLP, INLPTA and ANLP recognised Trainers training at Goa in Nov -Dec. This training will also be covering ‘Board and Arrow Breaking ‘ sessions.
For eligibility and further details please contact my colleagues:
Charles Saldhana; ANLP Ambassador to India, at www.classnlp.com +919850685510 (Goa, India)
Anil Kesavan at www.artofchangeindia.com +919387814531 (Trivandrum, India)
Self at +919818688892 (New Delhi, India)
As a run up to the trainer training some certified Practitioner and Master Practitoner training are being run at specific places only to enable the prospective participants to gain the necessary eligibility criterion for the trainers training. A reorientation/refresher training for existing Master Practitioners is being planned at Goa prior to the Trainers Training.
Thanks and kind regards,
Sharad
Chris and the NLP Connections Forum Thanks for the Warm Welcome
I am Sharad and it is a privilege to be amongst you. I look forward to a mutual intellectual exchange.
I have a background of over 23 years in the Indian Army and at the senior management in the corportae.I am a certified trainer of NLP , a corporate trainer, advanced life & business coach . I also train at educational institutions for faculties as well as the students alike. I am also moving onto training of faculty and people with special needs by way of NLP and its applications.I have quality audited organisations from ISO persepctive acrossSteel, Power, Electrical, Food Pack, Logistics, Automotive Parts manufacturing , IT /ITes industries and I demonstrate a deep understanding of the inherent processes involved typical to specific industry. I am a visiting faculty for Human Resources specialisation stream,business ethical and Leadership. These combined activities being cyclic in nature reinforce each other and together with my vast and varied experience bring to fore value add to my consultancy and provide solutions to real time issues and challenges facing the industry.
Very shortly I will be assisting on NLP Trainer Training at Goa, India in Nov-Dec 2010.This prestigious training in India by Robert Smith. a very senior and respected NLP Master Trainer and ANLP International Ambassador will be recognised by ABNLP, ANLP and INLPTA.
NLP to me has been a great dicovery and an invaluable tool in all my above said activities.
Once again great being on board and look forward to building relationships and sharing knowledge.
Kind regards,
Sharad
