NLP & Rapport (3): Rapport by skill – or by trial and error?
In relating with other people many of us unintentionally sabotage the rapport we are trying to create! We are so desperately anxious to get along well with someone and to create a good impression that we simply try too hard. As result we come across as nervous, tense, jumpy, pushy, preoccupied, or bossy – or [...]
Spatial Anchoring & Pentatonic Understanding
Bobby McFerrin at the 2009 World Science Festival, with a great example of anticipation and the apparently universal comprehension of the pentatonic…
Is Using Neuro lingustic Programing on someone to change them really a ethical?
I am very confused. 2 years ago I was a very well balanced individual and then I started karate. There is a woman who I knew from the minute I met her I could never ever work well with. I kept my distance from her until we ended up in very close quarters in japan and she gave me the fright of my life. in that she claimed she was going to make a complaint about me and see me gone because she couldn’t put up with me. I actually stopped mid argument and stared in shock. then my sensei kept telling me I was losing balance and not in control and that put me out of joint because I need my freedom to be. I am a very independant person the idea that someone would try to control me is very annoying. He uses NLP. I have been refusing to train, and i feel he is trying to change me into a person I don’t want to be. I like the person I am. I don’t want him to change me and I want to learn karate but I don’t know how to tell him to stop. I feel violated by his actions
I have valid life experience of my and I have reasons for behaving the way I behave and i want those behaviour patterns respected. I don’t want them altered and I really hate the person he is trying to shape me into I find myself becoming very angry and growling at him on a regular basis. I feel blocked in expressing myself and being able to defend myself against this woman because of stupid japenese hierachy rules.
I want to train in this club, but I want to explain to this person to stop using nlp becausing it is making me very unhappy. I don’t like that he is trying to change and that he had never asked me if it was what I wanted.
I am zen buddist. I don’t meditate to often and I think that is one of the reasons why my instincts are running against him. I am feeling very emotionally confused and mentally disturbed and reduced in confidence and sense of security. Its not so much that he stopped the argument as in he started using nlp after the argument happened.
No, I would say it isn’t ethical to use NLP on someone without their consent. However, as far as I am aware, NLP is mainly used as a method for understanding one’s own behavioural patterns in order to model *oneself*. It is used mainly in therapeutic contexts, where a person seeks it out and uses the methods to train themselves or in business contexts, where members of the group are encouraged to embrace the techniques. (This, IMO, is a rather slimy way of making the workers conform to the values of the business, turning them into robots whose personalities never get in the way of the complete reification of their roles. However, I would say it is done with their consent and that any worker who didn’t like it would be able to mentally reject it.)
I also think, from what I’ve heard, that it would be very difficult to just take control of another person through NLP, particularly if, as in your case, there has been a clear indication of the attempt and you are actively rejecting it. Also, why would your sensei opt to use NLP on you right in the middle of an argument? I certainly haven’t heard of NLP stopping a person in their tracks in the way you describe. If, indeed, as you suggest, this was all part of the NLP, I think you should consider taking the matter further (though, of course, it might be hard to prove).
Building your ‘inner network’ Judith Germain
Judith Germain FCIPD is Managing Director of Dynamic Transitions Ltd and specialises in developing leadership talent. She has over 10 years experience working with wilfully independent people which she defines as mavericks or Troublesome Talent.
You can listen to the podcast from: http://www.nlp-expert.co.uk/networking/judith-3.mp3
Please allow up to 2 minutes for the download.
Building your ‘inner network’ Judith Germain
Judith Germain FCIPD is Managing Director of Dynamic Transitions Ltd and specialises in developing leadership talent. She has over 10 years experience working with wilfully independent people which she defines as mavericks or Troublesome Talent.
You can listen to the podcast from: http://www.nlp-expert.co.uk/networking/judith-3.mp3
Please allow up to 2 minutes for the download.
Resolving Sexual Inhibition – NLP coaching session with Steve Andreas
Get the full video: http://j.mp/2knuAI
J. often froze up during sex because it reminded her of her fathers sexual abuse from very young up to the age of 9 when this was discovered and her father left.
When her current partner was tentative, that reminded her of her fathers tentativeness. Noticing clearly how her partners tentativeness was different from her fathers tentativeness broke the connection to the past abuse, freeing her natural sexual response.
This is an excerpt from an unedited 68-minute NLP client session with follow-up. Get the video here: http://j.mp/2knuAI
Sign up for Steve’s free NLP blog here:
http://realpeoplepress.com/blog
See also:
http://realpeoplepress.com
http://steveandreas.com
Duration : 0:9:19
Technorati Tags: Abuse, Andreas, brieftherapy, Coaching, inhibition, Linguistic, Neuro, NLP, Programming, psychotherapy, sex, sexual, sexualabuse, sexualinhibition, SFBT, solutionsfocusedtherapy, steve, SteveAndreas, therapy, trauma
Resolving Sexual Inhibition – NLP coaching session with Steve Andreas
Get the full video: http://j.mp/2knuAI
J. often froze up during sex because it reminded her of her fathers sexual abuse from very young up to the age of 9 when this was discovered and her father left.
When her current partner was tentative, that reminded her of her fathers tentativeness. Noticing clearly how her partners tentativeness was different from her fathers tentativeness broke the connection to the past abuse, freeing her natural sexual response.
This is an excerpt from an unedited 68-minute NLP client session with follow-up. Get the video here: http://j.mp/2knuAI
Sign up for Steve’s free NLP blog here:
http://realpeoplepress.com/blog
See also:
http://realpeoplepress.com
http://steveandreas.com
Duration : 0:9:19
Technorati Tags: Abuse, Andreas, brieftherapy, Coaching, inhibition, Linguistic, Neuro, NLP, Programming, psychotherapy, sex, sexual, sexualabuse, sexualinhibition, SFBT, solutionsfocusedtherapy, steve, SteveAndreas, therapy, trauma
Resolving Sexual Inhibition – NLP coaching session with Steve Andreas
Get the full video: http://j.mp/2knuAI
J. often froze up during sex because it reminded her of her fathers sexual abuse from very young up to the age of 9 when this was discovered and her father left.
When her current partner was tentative, that reminded her of her fathers tentativeness. Noticing clearly how her partners tentativeness was different from her fathers tentativeness broke the connection to the past abuse, freeing her natural sexual response.
This is an excerpt from an unedited 68-minute NLP client session with follow-up. Get the video here: http://j.mp/2knuAI
Sign up for Steve’s free NLP blog here:
http://realpeoplepress.com/blog
See also:
http://realpeoplepress.com
http://steveandreas.com
Duration : 0:9:19
Technorati Tags: Abuse, Andreas, brieftherapy, Coaching, inhibition, Linguistic, Neuro, NLP, Programming, psychotherapy, sex, sexual, sexualabuse, sexualinhibition, SFBT, solutionsfocusedtherapy, steve, SteveAndreas, therapy, trauma
Wanting to Make New Friends…
Hello,
I’m Alex and I recently moved to a new city.
I need to make new friends here but it seems hard to me to make the first steps.
Im like too…
Wanting to Make New Friends…
Hello,
I’m Alex and I recently moved to a new city.
I need to make new friends here but it seems hard to me to make the first steps.
Im like too…
